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My hubby doesnt wanna do our display now...


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I wouldn't be baking cookies to kiss anyones butt either!!! But I would take them to the PD just to open and door and start a conversation.... maybe one of them would start the subject about the lights since they all know who I am and where I live from seeing me outside all summer long. I really don't think I want to walk in there just to ask them what they think! Besides, our officers diserve cookies..... there are no donut shops in our town. :}

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snowlovergeorgia wrote:

Thanks for the replies....

Tim: I got the most out of your response. Im not moving and giving in.

You shouldn't have to move to have a display. Besides, who's to say your next neighbors would be any better?

Then again, you live on a cul-de-sac which is not the best location for a Christmas light display. You could consider moving to get a house in a better location for routing traffic, but not to give in to your current neighbors or husband. ;)

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snowlovergeorgia wrote:

Thanks...hes just upset because no matter how hard we try...the 2 particular neighbors are just being petty this year. These 2 women werent friends until about 6 months ago. One is nextdoor to us and the other across the street. We had a problem with one of them since July, and now the other one who had no problems with us...suddenly has issues too siding with the one we havent been talking too...Very high schoolish...

Did that make sense?

We dont get alot of traffic here. A few cars watching at most...But my neighbos even hate the UPS man being on the street...I just dont want them chasing cars away or something if they get near their house...

I have voice overs and stuff to help...Its just personal because they had no issues last year. Nobody blocked their driveway or anything to annoy them. They just say the kids next door cant sleep with the lights on and that it brings people who dont belong here...here...

Cant people just find better stuff to complain on? I mean were not drug dealing, killing anything, hurting anyone....mean people s**k!!

Just throwing this out for thought...

The one argument you mentioned that myself personally I would try to address is the mention of the lights keeping the kids awake.

I would take that to heart if it is possible that it is true...

I have been very fortunate that I have not had any problems, and my neighbors have only had compliments and positive feedback for my display.

I am the kind of person that would step up and talk with the next door neighbor to let them know that I would like to work with them and come up with a solution that would help with the lights keeping the children awake. Earlier cutoff during the weekdays, not blinking the lights close to them past a certain hour (depending on how your properties and houses are situated) even though it would require re-doing sequences (version "a" before 9, version "b" after 9), etc.

Although I would still be clear that I am doing my display, as a matter of fact don't even mention anything alluding to not doing it, don't argue the point at all since that is not what is being discussed!;)

(Think politicion avoiding the question, and keeps on talking or changes subject!)

Confronting people to let them know you want to work with them will sometimes throw the burden on them to realize that you are attempting to address their concerns, and are not as self-centered as they have been trying to make you out to be. You have the upper hand in that situation since YOU are taking the initiative to try to work on a solution and THEY now have to decide if they are willing to work with you or not. The decision is now their burden. If they decide to NOT work with you then you now know that you have attempted to be a good neighbor and do the right thing, and no one can fault you for that.

It can be tough to keep emotions in check, but that is what you really need to do in this kind of situation, even if you feel like they are totally off base (or if they lose their cool), because the best way to make them realize it is if you remain calm and collected and just stick to the discussion at hand. If they begin ranting at all simply apologize for bothering them and walk away, that is far more powerful than anything else you may be tempted to say at that moment. (and you will always be the "bigger" person for doing that)

I realize every situation is different, but sometimes allowing things to "fester" is far worse than attempting to clear the air by trying to communicate and possibly solve or at least lessen the problem.

Again, I just wanted to post some thoughts on being proactive about someone being negative about your display...

Hopefully things will turn around! :)

(fingers crossed for ya!)

Terry

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Thanks for the advice....but you see...There is no being nice to the 2 ladies im having issues with. The are friends now....Kinda like the situation with Mr. Fischeron here andhis neighbors.

My lights dance with the music and are not really blinky or crazy to disturb the kids.And i dont use LED lights that areextra bright. My neighborshad no problem last year and told me they liked the lights and had tons of her friends to see them...so its just because we had a disagreement this summer. I even apologized for that and she said it wasnt good enough. So i did try.

I am gonna take the police dept cookies before thanksgiving though....Its a small dept. Ill make sure i put my address and name on them....

The nextdoor neighborblacked out theirchilds windows and didnt even tell me the lights were keeping the child up at first...another neighbor did. Then when i called her to aplogize...she said it bothered them. My feeling is that others have christmas lights on the street too across and next to them...Why are mine the issue? Because they are "blinky" andthose people arent an issue becauseshe likes them? Thats just an excuse...and she used a huge spot light on her house last year to light up her front door and itshined into herchilds bedroom. But thats okay? Do you see where im going with this? Its not going anywhere..This lady wants drama, or our street would be boring...I dont want drama or anything...I like quiet...

So i willnot give in to them as its my right to decorate the way i want to...I would never tell a neighbor how to decorate even if i didnt agree or like it. I had a neighbor that did all blue lights and nobody said a word...

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Hi...

If all else fails and your nieghbors complain, you can go the route of the guy last years who christmas light display got shut down becasue of his neighbors...

His recourse....he put a 10' inflatable Grinch in his front yard

Its sad these days......"doesn't the bible say Love thy Neighbor.....or atleast let them do what they want, its their dam property and I should mind my own business" :laughing:

Good Luck

chris

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CHRISL1976 wrote:

Hi...

If all else fails and your nieghbors complain, you can go the route of the guy last years who christmas light display got shut down becasue of his neighbors...

His recourse....he put a 10' inflatable Grinch in his front yard

That was actually in 2004. I know that because that was the year my neighbor problems broke out, and they photocopied the article and taped it to my front door, with a really nasty note written on the back.

That's how I was informed they didn't like us, even after saying they loved the display in previous years...

-Tim

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I just feel like my neighbors can "suffer" a few weeks, when they make us miserable all year with their antics...Kids in the street taking up whole culdesac, having huge parties blocking the road....etc...

Seriously...we keep to ourselves. Thats one reason they say they dont like us because we keep to ourselves and thats rude to them. Isnt it my right not to participate in culdesac pow wows if i dont want too....Im not into socializing all the time.

And if they consider my stuff suffering...they need to get a dictionary and look up the definition....Cause last time i checked... christmas lights werent attributed to suffering...Were they?

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I have horrible neighbors on one side....

I can only HOPE that the display gets on their nerves.

***Vent*** afterall, it's totally legal to put up lights. These people so far have been stealing our cable by jacking into our feed (I caught them and reported it to the cable company), they are building an add-on to their house that will block out all sun to every window on that side of the house turning that side of my parents' house completely dark..... when we tried to talk to them about it, they claimed it was so nobody in our family would watch their teenage daughters (what?!?! - for reference, my parents are in their 50's and my brother and I weren't even living in the house at the time... my brother still lives in CA, and I am only temporarily living with my folks again until I find a new house for myself- so who the heck would be watching their daughters? Not to mention my brother and I are in our mid 20's - so what interest would we have in 14 or 15 or 16 year olds... I don't even know how old they are.. nor who they are in the first place)...

so if they don't like the display - tough luck... and I rarely ever get mad at people or dislike them.

the other neighbors I like though. They're good folks. If there are any problems this year, I'm happy to talk with them about it. If it comes down to modifying hours or something, I'm more than happy to work it out.

Anyways, for your situation - I say start lighting stuff up a little early to guage reactions and feel out the neighbors a bit. If it doesn't look like there will be a problem - go for it. I would imagine most neighbors love the display. You can even try to talk to some of them ahead of time and say, "This is your neighborhood too and you're close to our house - is there anything about the display that affects you negatively enough that you'd like for us to modify it?" or something to that effect to show you value their input and care about how it impacts them.

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Tim,

Aren't your neighbor's "supposed" to be Christians? I find it embarrassing when we act in such a way that discredits us instead of drawing people in. Maybe you can say something like we are living out Mathew 5:16 "Let your LIGHT so shine among men..." (You know, that sounds like a good idea, I think I'm going to use that myself:))

Georgia,

I know you aren't into socializing, but since you have warm weather, maybe you can have cider and candy canes for the people that visit the first night. I had a neighbor that sounds like you and I thought she was rather stand-offish. It wasn't until we actually talked at length (when she invited us to her son's grad party) that I realized that she's just shy but very friendly once you get to know her. Your display is a natural conversation piece that you could use to meet people and socialize without putting yourself out. I think it would, at least on the surface, make you not appear stand-offish without taking you out of your comfort zone. I bet you love talking about your display when people approach you. Kill'em with kindness and make them feel guilty for being grinches. It also gives other neighbors a chance to defend you when the 2 rugrats are up to their shenanigans. Don't bake those cookies though, they'll throw them away and I can't stand a wasted cookie, especially if its peanut butter chocolate chip

Hope this isn't too preachy. good luck to you both

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I just realize thatmy neighborshave the problem...not me. We have lived here 3 years now and we know everyone. They know what we do and that we always decorate...for every holiday. I just think glue sticks together, and no matter what we do, the other neighborswill always side with the 2 grinches because they know them well.....and not us. Plus, they all hang out several days a week.

The kill them with kindness thing only works when the others are open to it....Trust me, they want the drama to keep going..

On halloween night, my brother in law backed out of the driveway and into the culdesac...grinch #1 was coming down the street. Her driveway is across from ours. My brother in law wasnt near her at all as he backed up at an angle. She laid on her horn for several seconds to make noise and get attention. For what? My hubby and i just looked in disbelief from our front porch,because all she had to do was go into her driveway as there was plenty of room and he saw her as he was backing up. However, he had the right a way anyway. She had to watch for him. But to then get out of your car at 10pm and yell "whats your problem" 3x was rediculous to me...The womanclaims she isafraid of her own shadow but yells like that..what a drama queen.

Im gonna stand my ground here...Im not doing anything wrong. She can make herself look like a fool and a grinch...I wont participate. Sometimes its best to ignore and not care what people think...I bought my house, not the neighbors...

As for the cookies...ill bake them....who doesnt love cookies?

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Georgia

Do set up your lights IT'S YOUR RIGHT, as long as it's not indecent etc.

I have a pecular problem myself. I moved to New York, right in the middle of a Amish community. First thing I did was to talk to the Senior person and ask him if a lighted Christmas Display would offend his members. I explained that it really was for the children and that nothing would be displayed to offend them.

I have the blessing (so far) so I have already started assembling the display.

I have gotten a few curious folks by the house but no complaints yet.

Stand up for your Rights, tell your Husband that it will be a cold winter for him if he balks, I don't understand that at all , He of all persons should back you to the hilt.

Christmas lighting is a great way to show your love for children .

Nothing better than having been outside in the cold sleeting weather, than to see the smile on a group of kids looking at your display.

RZ Hill:D

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Oh...I have nothing bad in my display. Its all good.....My neighbors just wanna complain I guess. I just dont understand how my lights didnt bother them last year, but this year there are issues suddenly after a disagreement.They started with my halloween lights a few weeks agocomplaining that the kids couldntsleep and brought unwanteds.

As for christmas...They are christmas lights people...get over it.....They are fun and bring joy...

Isnt the reason we do this to share and express ourselves? We want people/families to see what we have done and bring them happiness....

Its a shame people make it personal.....but that happens...

I cant even tell you how many people thanked us for the lights, as im sure youve all heard it before many times.

If we were all the same though, what a boring world it would be.

It just makes me wanna spread the cheer more when they get angry over petty stuff...I can think of lots of things to be petty over, but christmas lights? What the?

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  • 2 weeks later...

Definitely bring out some cookies! Ask them directly, "So, what do you think of the show?" If you get a favorable response, go back inside and write down the officer's name. Do this everytime there is another patrol car out front. Then, if you ever have a problem (vandalism/theft/neighbors), you have specific officers on your side that actually know who you are.

Also, if they are there waiting for a problem, you may get them to back off when they see how nice you are. Plus, who doesn't like free goodie during the holidays? Spread the Christmas joy!!

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