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Upset Neighbor parked his truck in my driveway.


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Wow Matt, sorry to hear about your neighbor. All the hard work an anticipation of light up,stressing about technical issues and last min. glitches only to find your neighbor is a......it's enough to make you cry. Don't. I have seen this type before. I don't care what measures you take he will not be satisfied. My advise to you is not to let this idiot ruin Christmas for you or your audience and keep your show as is. He may even come around, who knows? As for parking in your driveway thats what tow trucks are for.

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+1 to everyone who said to just ignore him. He's a Grinch, plain and simple.

He is among those people who claim their property as their 'sanctuary' and then forget that YOUR property is YOURS to do with as YOU see fit. When what others do what doesn't jive with HIM, he complains. He is intolerant.

You've been the bigger man. You extended the olive branch, and offered suggestions and compromises. All you got in return were complaints. Had he offered any solutions (even unworkable ones) you may have had a chance. At this point you have none.

Put the VOs up to ask people not to park or block in neighbors driveways or yards. Then run the show just as it was intended. The next time he pulls a stunt (like parking in your drive), get the law involved.

Unfortunately, it sounds like you are 'Tim story #2'.

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Hi Matt. What I would do is to not change the show at all!!! But also, we all have to understand that our shows can be inconvient to our neighbors. And we have to live with them in the off lighting season too. When I deal with people, the more difficult they are, the nicer I get. I would tell your neighbor to feel free to park in your driveway if his is blocked. I'd also send him an early Christmas card with a restaurant gift card in it. And do whatever you can to keep his and others driveways unblocked. Then, you can truly feel that you have done all you can to keep up neighbor relations.

But don't change your show after all your work. And you can't sweat the traffic either. Anything from road work to an accident can cause traffic.

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If your transmitter has a microphone, perhaps you could tell people that are blocking the cars to move them (when they are blocking his driveway). It would work wonders.

And if people are blocking his, they are blocking others. So do it for everybody.

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How long are the 9 songs?

3 minutes each that's about 1/2 hour

How many songs do most people play at once?

I was thinking a 10-15 minute show, then repeat

Maybe alternate the songs on different nites ?

The 9 songs with OV are probably about 35 to 40 min. long. Almost every song has been edited down. Tonight I cut it down to 3 songs with a VO about not blocking driveways in between. I also have the THX in there to.

I hope they will see I am trying to work with them. I forgot one thing he said. He said: "I love Christmas too, or I used to." I wanted to say O, poor you....

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If your transmitter has a microphone, perhaps you could tell people that are blocking the cars to move them (when they are blocking his driveway). It would work wonders.

And if people are blocking his, they are blocking others. So do it for everybody.

Dale, That's a good idea. My transmitter does not have a mic, but I can probably hook up a mic to the computer. Thanks for the suggestion. Have a good one.

Matt

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To give an update. Tonight I cut the show down to just 3 songs and the THX sound effect. I also placed a VO in between each song reminding people to not bock driveways. I have been keeping any eye on the traffic and I have had to tell a few people to please move. The traffic has been good and people have really been good about not blocking driveways. My neighbor has been out and back twice and been able to go right into his driveway each time. I am hoping this will give him some peace, I know it has made it better for me. This really made we worry and gave me much undue stress over the past few days. I knew everything will be fine.

I just need to decide what I will do next year. Have a good one. My wife and I have been talking about moving back to the country. This is the first house we have ever lived in town. We need to get about 10 acres in the country and have a drive through display.

Matt

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Matt Sorry to hear your troubles seems like you are doing all you can. Its sad but some people are just too unwilling to compromise. Seems he is so worried about being the "Bad" guy and doesn't want you to stop ( those two items don't match ) I was wondering its a small thing but has he moved his car out of your driveway yet ? I think that may signal something on his side. Glad to hear tonight was a bit better its just such a shame you have to deal with this.

Jim

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I was wondering its a small thing but has he moved his car out of your driveway yet ? I think that may signal something on his side.

Jim

Yes, he moved his truck while we were at Church this morning. He probably moved it around noon today. We went over there around 1:00.

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Not that I'd want to fuel a feud, but if this were me I'd let the neighbor know that I would do everything within reason to deal with their complaints, but that they are NOT to park on your private property ever again. And if they did it again I'd call the police. That's tresspassing...

-Tim

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Not that I'd want to fuel a feud, but if this were me I'd let the neighbor know that I would do everything within reason to deal with their complaints, but that they are NOT to park on your private property ever again. And if they did it again I'd call the police. That's tresspassing...

-Tim

Hey Time, Thanks for your reply. When I went over to this house today I told him he was more than welcome to park in my driveway if he needed to. He quickly said, "I don't want to park in your driveway." He really never gave me a reason why he did it besides he could not get in his driveway so he parked in mine. I think he wanted to get a rise out of me, but didn't. Me being nice probably made him more upset. I am going to kill him with kindness as they say. I made it clear I am will to do whatever within reason to help him out. Tonight was better, maybe because it was Sunday night and not as much traffic or maybe because I cut the show down a little.

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I think you made a good choice, now just sit back and see how it works. If he still complains, then he is out of luck. You have made enough adjustments that should of pleased him and his wife. SOunds like tonight went well, but it is not a weekend night either. I would watch the weekends closer for problems. Good Luck

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You having told the neighbor that he could/should park in your driveway, because of your kindness, must have really set him off. He had been trying so hard to spite you in the first place with his actions, and you didn't fall for it. Yes, smother him in kindness. Do the Voice Overs. But don't cut your show down so drastically.

I think that you've bent over backwards for him already. Enough. Enjoy the fruits of your labor. Let the rest community enjoy also. You've been doing all the right things.

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Having ones driveway routinely blocked would be a nuisance. Some neighbors would complain to the town authorities or police. I once had a disagreement with someone who reserved overflow street parking for his extended family by placing traffic cones in the street in front of his house. He thought he had more right to the public street than I did because I was a visitor to HIS block. ??? My point is that this fella did have some success with his traffic cones even if his premise was foolish. At least the neighbor was honest with you instead of being polite to your face while being silently angery about their driveway access. They've given you a starting point for negotiations. My city has a non-binding arbitration process as a means to help neighbors come to terms on disagreements.

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When I went over to this house today I told him he was more than welcome to park in my driveway if he needed to. He quickly said, "I don't want to park in your driveway." He really never gave me a reason why he did it besides he could not get in his driveway so he parked in mine. I think he wanted to get a rise out of me, but didn't. Me being nice probably made him more upset. I am going to kill him with kindness as they say. I made it clear I am will to do whatever within reason to help him out. Tonight was better, maybe because it was Sunday night and not as much traffic or maybe because I cut the show down a little.

Now that is the way to deal with neighbors! Yes!!! We are trying to spread good cheer with our displays and you did it! :):):):):):):)

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You catch more bees with honey than vinegar. I would again approach the guy in casual conversation and slide in how this is a big picture thing. In that, your display really has an affect on Christmas spirit in the community especially in the times of financial constraints. I would also make up some stories about a few kids that came to you door thanking you for the display. Make him think that he plays a role in this by tolerating your display and allowing folks to enjoy it. I guarantee you that if he feels he has ownership in this somehow, he will even begin to encourage people to come by. I would then try to express your true empathy for his long work hours as he seems a bit bitter about them. Try to relate in some way so it seems you are comrads. I would then thank him again for his patients with this and thank him for not trying to close it down. Both of you know he could try much harder. Finally, I would offer a gift of some sort for the continued patients. Maybe dinner at his favorite restaurant so they can get away from thte house for a while. I think that it helps to slide in a few subtle remarks here and there letting him know that you know he could make things harder on you and that you appreciate his tolerance. Let him think he is in charge. Sorry, this was so long. Good luck.

Ryan

Edited by Randaling
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Be a good neighbor. (take and bite your lip) go across the street and tell your neighbor that he can park in your drive if he has trouble and give him some rules a.k.a. an assigned spot. Tell him that you need to keep XYZ spot clear for your wife. I know the easy thing to do is to go eye-for-an-eye but trust me in the end doing something along these lines wil make your life easier.

If you don't have the space get a no blocking the drive sign for your neighbor. I'm sure a little kindness will go a long way.

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Let him park there. First, he thinks that you're messing-up his parking so give him a spot to park. Second he seems to be itching for a fight so don't give him one.

Take the high road, it's only a parking spot and it's only 4-5 weeks.

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You have clearly taken the moral high ground in your handling of this. That is all you can do and you've done it. Sleep well knowing that you did what you did. Your neighbors are clearly on your side.

It kind of sounds like he just wishes he wasn't your neighbor (at this point) ... but so what ... most people would love to have a great neighbor like you! He's the one with sour grapes and offering nothing to you nor taking you up on any of your ideas. I think his conscious should tell him that going against something & someone so good and noble ... can't be the right thing to do. He probably is secretly ashamed of his actions but can't admit it. The fact that he doesn't want you to turn off the lights tells you he knows its a good thing ... he just didn't want all those folks coming to HIS street ... but who would? That is the problem with this hobby ... is that is can affect others and we kind of count on the goodness and understanding of others ... but some folks have less of that than others.

It sounds like if HE wants real solitude at his home, then maybe he should get 10 acres in the country and not you.

If you move, make sure its because thats what you want to do and not because there is a grinch in the neighborhood.

What you have created is truly special ... and folks will want to see it. You can't blame them. Your display is really something. :)

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I have 3 neighbors on my culdesac street of 11 that dont like my display because they think it causes traffic problems and they dont like unwanted on our street. This is our 3rd year animated.

What we have learned is that the police wont do anything to us or our show if the neighbors complain because it is simply Christmas lights. We do have VO's for traffic if we ever get bad with it. I dont call 2 or 3 cars bad.

We also have learned that not everyone likes what we like, and so be it. Thats ok. We still do our thing, but we cant bend over backwards to people who will obviously never be happy. We tried, but they didnt listen and the only compromise to them is not to do the lights this way. I even gave up synchronizing my Halloween this year and made my Halloween display smaller this year to have a bigger Christmas show.

We run our show till 9pm during the week and 10 pm weekends. I think thats fair and I only have 5 songs that I can easily cut down to 3 if need be.

What nerve for your neighbor to park in your driveway without permission. I think that was simply letting you know that you did not get his permission to do a light show, so he parked in your driveway without permission. But, the street is public. Your driveway is not. Big difference.

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